Handmaidens in the Black Community

Dickmatized

One of the most dangerous places to be as a Black woman or girl is the community she resides in. As of today, 1400 hundred Black women and girls have been murdered by the men in their communities throughout America. In case you think I am exaggerating, the FBI has also been tracking the murders of Black women for those who want to believe that this is a figment of Black women’s imaginations and an elaborate plot by the Man to take Black men down. And these statistics are true. Black women are being slaughtered for existing by Black men. For leaving abusive relationships. For expecting the fathers of their children to support them financially. For not giving out their phone numbers. I could go on and on but that would be redundant.

And the main defenders of these murderous, soulless pieces of shit? The very women who are being slaughtered wholesale: Black women. They make excuses for these men by blaming mental illness, white supremacy, and the victims themselves for not being “supportive” and “submissive” enough. Never the killers themselves because in the Black community, dick is God and the vast majority of the women are the priests.

These are the women who are quick to blame little girls for being molested by deviant perverts. The ones who offer up their daughters to prey just to have a man in their lives, in their beds. Fuck the mental harm that’s being done to these girls: it’s all about that dick.

These are the women who encourage women who are in abusive relationships to stay with the men because all they need was a chance and didn’t mean any harm. Fuck that’s he’s beating your ass daily. He’s just a Black man who needs some love.

These are the women who know that their sons are the biggest gang bangers in the neighborhood who spend their days in daily shootouts but when the police kick in their doors, instead of turning in the miscreants these so called mothers are too busy hiding the guns.

To these women, Black men have more value than themselves and have to be protected and coddled at all costs. They will sell their souls and their first born child to protect the legacy and image of Black men. They ain’t shit.

These women are the patriarchal handmaidens of Black community and even if the community is destroyed at the hands and actions of violent Black men, these women are willing and eager to go down with these bums. Because they are men and men are everything to women with this mentality.

Due to hundreds of years of religious indoctrination, Black women have been socialized to believe that they are inferior creatures, not worthy of anything. They believe that their only role in life is to be a subordinate to men who ain’t worth two dead flies.

I currently reside in a city that is plagued with gun violence, robberies and mayhem. And unfortunately this mayhem is being perpetrated by the men of my race. Just last week while shopping in Walmart, a young Black man attempted to pickpocket me while I was shopping. For what ever reason, some young folks really believe that older folks are stupid and slow. Not the kid. I was raised in the hood where I learned to be very self aware of my surroundings or I would be prey. So when I turned around and looked this fucker in the eye and dared him to do something, he scurried off with his tail between his legs. Trifling bastard but I’m sure he has a mother who would have tried to fight me if I had cracked his ass upside the head. Women of this ilk are dangerous to the Black collective, running neck and neck with the men who are destroying the community.

Grannies, Aunties, Cousins, & Other Mamas

In the Black community, there are women who aren’t mothers because technically they didn’t give birth to the children they mothered but are revered because of the guidance, wisdom, and unconditional love that they bestowed upon generations of Black children. This is my tribute to those women. My ladies in particular whom I loved with all my heart and soul.

The lady in the picture above is my maternal grandmother. She was born in Alabama in 1900 and she became an ancestor in 1984. Although I only had her in my life for a short time , she was one of my greatest influences.

She was my babysitter from ages 2 until I was 8 years old when she moved out the state to live with one of her daughters. She was the one who taught me how to read and write, my colors and all that good stuff. So when I learned earlier this year that she only had a second grade education, I was beyond shocked. Because to me, she was a genius and she played a major part in my cognitive development as a child. She was also a great griot and told me slave folktales about skeletons who spoke and and horses who scolded naughty children. She was loved and revered by all who knew her and was considered the backbone of the family.

Aunt Mary

The lady above is my Aunt Mary. She was born in 1933 and became an ancestor in 1982. Her and my mother was only a year apart so they were very close and as result of their closeness, I spent a lot of time with her. She was a Scorpio like me and we got along like cake and ice cream. When she died from ovarian cancer, I was so shellshocked by her death, I couldn’t cry and didn’t cry until a few years later. She was a gem, a feisty woman of fire who is still missed and I wished she had the opportunity to meet my children.

Uncle Al and Aunt Rosie

My Aunt Rosie is in the picture above and she was an integral part of my life. If I’m not mistaken, she was born in 1922 and she became an ancestor in 1995. I spent a lot of time with her as a child and I loved her dearly. When I wanted to get my hair done and needed some money, she gave it to me with a little fussing but she gave it to me. With love.

I would go over to her house to pick it up and she would feed me, tell me tales of growing up into young womanhood and when it was time for me to leave, she would put the money in a handkerchief and pin it in my bra. I used to have a picture of myself when I was about 6 months old and I was sitting between Aunt Rosie and Aunt Mary and they were looking at me with such love and joy. I’m tearing up now thinking about it.

Cousin Cleo and Friends

And the lady above with the thick juicy thighs is my cousin Cleo and she was a combination of cousin, big sister, aunt, and towards the end of her life, a mother figure to me. She was born in 1942 and she crossed over into glory in 2018.

When I was a little girl, I would follow her everywhere because wherever she was, it was good times. My mother was a working woman and couldn’t take me places at times due to her work schedule so Cleo would take me and the rest of the cousins to museums, zoos, the beach, movies everywhere during hot summers in Chicago.

When I gave birth to my two eldest children, she was the one who picked me up from the hospital. She was always there for me with a kind word, a hug and most importantly, love. When I was a young adult and would be hanging out in the old neighborhood she still lived in, when it got too late for public transportation, she would let me spend the night. She didn’t have to be bothered with me but she chose to. My goodness when I think about the love I received from her, I cry.

On the day of her funeral, I deliberately took the longest route to the funeral home because I didn’t want to be there but I had to. Walking down the hall to where her funeral was being held was the longest walk of my life. It’s been four years since she became an ancestor and in some ways, her death was harder on me than my mother’s death because childishly, I really believed that she would live forever.

Sitting Between My Ladies
Rosemary the Diva

Monday I received a phone call from my cousin Mark and he told me that his big sister, Rosemary had died. I was speechless for several minutes because my brain had stopped. Not Rosemary. Not my Rosemary. Eventually I was able to speak and was able to give him my condolences while crying incoherently. I heard the pain and the tears in his voice as we mourned deeply over the phone and I told him to get some rest and that I loved him. I put down the phone and let out a primal scream that brought my daughter running into my room.

She said “Mama what’s wrong!” And I screamed “Rosemary is dead boo. She’s gone.” And another chapter in my life ended. My mother didn’t have any daughters besides me but my cousin Rosemary was my big sister and I loved her.

Rosemary was the eldest daughter of my Aunt Carrie and she was a year older than my brother Randy who was born in 1960. She was the ultimate diva, always fly, hair whipped, smelling good and I wanted to be like her when I grew up. She was my inspiration for going into the clerical field because she was a legal secretary making big bank and power moves during the 80s.

She was one of most generous, kind, and funny souls I had the privilege of knowing and I was blessed to have her in my life. She was 63 years old when she left for the ancestral world on Monday and she will be missed because she was a hell of a woman.

The above ladies were my blood kin and my other mamas. They loved and nurtured me and I miss them fiercely. But I’m not the only person in the Black community who has or had other mamas who impacted their lives and we need to give these ladies their flowers for being such a huge part of the Black experience.

The Black community would have ceased to exist centuries ago if wasn’t for the contributions of these loving, kind, selfless women who loved hard but didn’t a have a problem with busting an irate fool upside the head if necessary. Bow down to the queens in your life. Because I do every day for my ladies who are no longer here but will live forever in my heart.

The Real Reason Why Men Hate & Fear Perfectly Content Single Women

Single Women Dancing With Pride

Men lose their minds at thought of a woman perfectly content with her own company. Because that means that they can’t hold a relationship and a possible marriage over her head along with a passel of brats.

They can’t constantly chant “that’s why you’re single!” to a woman who truly doesn’t give a fuck. Those types of scare tactics doesn’t work on a woman who’s secure in herself and knows that her womanhood doesn’t hinge upon saddling herself with a man not worth two dead flies and children with his fucked up DNA.

For centuries, women have been socialized to believe that their only purpose in life is to get married and spit out the next generation of dysfunctional, unhappy people but after three waves of feminism, women have been taking off the patriarchal blinders and seeing American culture for what it is: a system that hates women and children so many are opting out.

A culture that respected and revered women and children would make it easier for them to exist. It would have a better healthcare system so that women wouldn’t be still dying in childbirth in the year 2021.

A culture that respected and revered women and children would have a national and generous maternity leave for expectant mothers that would allow them to rest and bond with their babies.

A culture that respected and revered women and children would have a nationally funded childcare program in which families wouldn’t be charged college tuition for daycare.

And most importantly, a culture that respected and revered women and children wouldn’t be still trying to force women into having children that they do not want. It’s almost 2022 and certain states in this country are trying to reverse Roe versus Wade, Supreme Court decision that gave women the right to abortion. It’s mind boggling that women who live in a supposedly enlightened, so called superior country are still fighting for autonomy over their own bodies.

So that’s why men fear and despise a happy single woman. They know that these women are free and can’t be subjugated into taking on trash so they try through violence or legislation to keep them in their place as walking wombs.

A Short Silly Post About a Nasty Ass Bubble

The Dirty Bubble🤣🤣🤣🤣

I’m a big fan of the cartoon “SpongeBob SquarePants” and one of my favorite characters is The Dirty Bubble. He’s a villain on SpongeBob’s favorite cartoon show and he’s a nasty fucker as you can see from the picture above. The very name of this character makes me dissolve into laughter and lets me know that despite of my 51 years, I’m still a silly little girl at heart. Imagine being a villain because you refuse to wash your ass. Hell it’s a lot of Dirty Bubbles walking around in Chicago 😃😃😃😃😃

My Favorite Authors & Their Books

Books Are Fabulous!!!!

I’ve been reading books since I was a little girl. Before I was born, my mother had purchased a set of encyclopedias for my brothers that they never touched according to her. So they sat, unused and collecting dust until I was born.

Book of Knowledge Encyclopedias

Now I wasn’t born a genius and started reading at five months old but I was totally fascinated by those books. I would draw and scribble scrabble in the encyclopedias but when I finally learned how to read and comprehend, they became my friends,

My favorite two encyclopedias were the letter C and F. C because of the article on the cat species and F because of the article on the First Ladies. I love cats and I will always remember the first words of the article on cats: “cats remember those who were good to them and they remember those who were not.” Or something like that because it’s been over 30 years since I actually saw this passage and I’m not a spring chicken at all.

The article on the First Ladies was intriguing to me too because the set my mother owned was published when Lyndon B. Johnson was president so the article only discussed the ladies up until his presidency and she was the last one. Miss Lady Bird was her nickname and I thought that was so cool.

That set of encyclopedias purchased by my mother for my older brothers set off a thirst for knowledge that I’ve been trying to appease for almost 40 years and I’ve come to the realization that I will be always be searching for answers. Which is not a problem in a culture where the vast majority of people are dumb as a box of hair.

But I’m digressing as usual and let’s talk about my favorite books. Realistically, it’s too many to list because I will be writing until Juvember but what I’m going to do is list some of my favorite authors along with the books that they wrote that touched my soul.

These authors and their books aren’t going to be listed categorically but from memory because my mind is like a noodle these days and I will periodically update this blog when I think of more authors who impacted my life.

Margaret Mitchell and her novel Gone With the Wind. I read this book for the first time back in 1981 when I was almost 11 years old and it changed my life and taught me a lot about the Southern states. They ain’t going to change y’all.

Rhett Butler

Jackie Collins and all her books about the lives of the rich and famous. One of her most infamous characters is Lucky Santangelo, the daughter of a gangster and a bad ass chick in her own right.

Bertrice Small and all her romance novels, especially the World of Hetar series which is foreshadowing of what’s going to happen in this country if women don’t get off their asses and rebel.

All the celebrity biographies written by Kitty Kelley except the one about the Bush family because it’s dull as hell. But the books about Elizabeth Taylor, Jacqueline Kennedy, Frank Sinatra, Nancy Reagan, Oprah and House of Windsor?? Fire!!!

And lastly for now, all the books written by Candace Bushnell, including Sex and the City which was turned into a television series on HBO and became a cultural phenomenon. Any writer who can come up with a character name “Lord Skanky-Poo” is alright with me.

Carrie and Friends

A Village Without Love

There has been an ongoing war between the sexes in the Black community for decades and it is time for it to end because it is pathetic and the only people hurting are the children. 70% of Black children reside in a single parent household; usually the mother and Black children are highly over represented in the foster care system.  Black children are only 14% of the American population, but are in the foster care at the rate of 23% and that is a damn shame.

Some folks are so busy arguing amongst themselves about who is more trifling, Black men or Black women that they have absolved ourselves of all parental and community responsibility.  No one wants to look in the mirror and change themselves but would rather sit back and blame each other while making a slew of babies that will grow up confused and fucked up. Ladies its too much birth control out here to be having children you do not want to be bothered with. Motherhood is a tour of duty that never ends and if you really don’t want to be bothered with responsibility of children, don’t have any. Stop letting these dudes whisper sweet nothings in your ear when that coochie is on fire, trying put stupid shit in your heads about having babies but ain’t said shit about marriage.

And men, I have not forgotten about y’all: if you do not want children, strap your boy up or get a vasectomy. Any man who is stupid enough to put the fate of his unborn children in the hands of a possibly unstable and vindictive woman deserves to have the child support system hounding his dumb ass for the rest of his life.

In past five years, there has been a big movement online, encouraging Black women to date outside their race and it has been fascinating to read the comments from some Black women on various websites as to why they have decided to date interracially. Because ironically, they sound just like some of these Black dudes when they give their reasons for not dating within their race but I ain’t the one to gossip so you didn’t hear that from me. American culture is a patriarchal one in which all men, regardless of their race or ethnicity, has been socialized to believe that they are superior to women. So if a Black woman thinks she will be escape patriarchy by turning to another race, she needs a reality check. The same premise goes for those Black men who told themselves that if they get a White woman, they will be as good as the White man and history has shown that premise to be a complete and utter lie.

Stereotypes about Black men and women that were originally created by the dominant culture are now running amok and being perpetrated by Black people themselves. The community is on the edge of a precipice but instead of coming up with feasible solutions to the problems of a poor educational system, poverty, lack of economic opportunities in blighted areas, and the high murder rate in inner-city neighborhoods, some of us would rather discuss the lives of celebrities who wouldn’t piss on them if they were on fire.

All these stereotypes do is keep Black folks at each other’s throats and Black communities throughout America are on fire as a direct result. It takes a village to raise a child and what happens when the village is at war with each other? A generation of angry children without love and compassion, hence the state of current Black America.

Self Love & Why It’s So Important to Black Women

All The Time

It’s time sisters. It’s time to love yourselves and stop worrying about men who wouldn’t piss on you if you were on fire. The same group of men who spend their days and nights on the social media defaming your character and calling you bald headed, ugly, Black ass bitches. I know it’s hard living in a culture that hates you because you were born Black and female but take this advice from a middle age Black woman: fuck them.

Love yourselves and your children if you have some. Concentrate on making your lives better and easier. Make some money and don’t be dependent on anyone because financial dependence is dangerous for women. Go to school, get a degree or a trade. Go to brunch with your friends, eat good and straight get fucked up in the words of DJ Quik.

Travel the world and go to all the places that you have wanted to explore since you were a child. All the places you read about, watched on television and films.

And love yourselves. Love yourselves with all the heat and passion in your souls. Some folks think that self love is selfish, especially for Black women because Black women are considered the mules of the universe but it’s nothing selfish about loving yourselves ladies. Because if no one in the world loves you, you have yourselves and never forget that❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

Love Yourselves Boos💋💋💋💋💋

Depression, Depression, Depression….

Depression is a terrible thing because it creeps up when you least expect it. You could be having a perfectly good day and memories from the past will swarm your brain and you will feel like crawling up in a corner and hiding. Hiding from the pain, the confusion, the chaos of your feelings.

My feelings are in turmoil these days because I have lost so many people in the last few years to death. My brother, the last of my original family. My boos Trena, Genial, and Mikki, my around the way girls from around the way. So many people I loved and cherished that I loved with all my fiery soul and now they are gone and its nothing I can do about it. Because you can fight many things in life, certain illnesses, job losses, relationships that should ended eons ago but death? You can’t fight that bitch. You just learn to cope and move on with your life the best you can but depression will always plague you.

And even if death hasn’t plagued your life, depression can slap you in the face and fuck up your life. American culture is a perfect example of the ills of depression.

I know that we live in America, the place of Horatio Alger tales where people come from humble backgrounds and somehow, someway through hard work and perseverance, manage to ride off into the sunset and that’s a beautiful tale. Unfortunately, for most people, their lives will be filled with obstacles on the path to greatness, and for some that greatness will never come. So they find themselves falling into the depths of hell which is called depression.

Americans are supposed to constantly happy and blowing sunshine out of their asses or they aren’t considered real “patriots.” So they walk around with fake smiles and harass complete strangers at grocery stores, parks, gas stations and various other public places. Looking like complete maniacs but hey its America though.

Photo by Renda Eko Riyadi on Pexels.com

Please don’t think I am making fun of people suffering from depression because I am not but I am tired of people taking out their issues on complete strangers. I have been through the bowels of hell in the past few years of my life but it never occurred to me to go outside of my home and show my entire ass to the world. I just coped and got some therapy.

Did it help? Yes it did. Did the depression go away? Not yet but I am hopeful because walking up sad and mad daily is not a good thing. And all I want is to be happy at least 98% of the time and that is I want for other folks. Just be happy, eat good every day and live their lives. Life is too short and precious to dwell in misery. Be happy my people.

The Fake Ass Online War on Black Single Mothers

For 13 years, it has been an online war on single Black mothers perpetrated by Black men that is pathetic and disgusting. And it’s fake as fuck. Let me break it down how fake this war is.

These dudes get on various social media platforms ranting and raving about Black single mothers, calling them everything but a child of God and blaming them for all the social ills that are running amok. Miraculously, these men never ever blame the grown ass men who are causing chaos and destruction in their community.

The men who are killing women and children all over the country. The men who are robbing and stealing from their own kind. The men who are having shootouts in broad daylight with no fear of repercussions. And the real reason why these men don’t confront the monsters in the Black community is because they are cowardly to do anything and because they are the monsters themselves.

For all the negative rhetoric about Black single mothers, if it wasn’t for these women, these bastards would be homeless and starved out. Living on the streets, sleeping on a bench begging for change. And frankly, I’m sick of it. Instead of using that energy to beak down the self esteem of Black single mothers, use that energy to mentor the many young Black boys whose fathers deserted them and left their mothers to take on the task or raising children alone.

Use that energy to form neighborhood watch groups in poverty stricken, vulnerable neighborhoods that have problems with gang violence and sex trafficking of young Black girls. Start tutoring programs for Black children who attend poorly funded schools and don’t have the resources they need in order to be successful in this society.

And most importantly, shut the fuck up. Admit that collectively, your brethren has failed the Black community and instead of owning up to your failure to provide, protect, and nurture your community, you have decided to shift the blame to the Black woman. The very woman that brought your trifling ass into existence. So this fake ass war isn’t real because if it was, these men would have been emboldened to clean up their communities and stop making Black single mothers. Because it takes two to tango and these women aren’t getting pregnant by themselves. Goddamn ninnies. How can a group of men who don’t know basic sexual biology have the audacity to complain about single motherhood????