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Sole Survivor
Six years next month. Six quiet, thunderous years of carrying a title no one applies for. A sole survivor is the last remaining member of their immediate family—the final branch on a once-leafy tree. My mother gave birth to three children. I am the only one left. No siblings to call and say, “Do you…
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When Blood Recognizes Itself
Lately, I’ve been seeing the faces of my ancestors in strangers. A jawline in the grocery store line. A pair of eyes on the bus that feel like déjà vu with a pulse. A woman laughing two tables over, her mouth moving exactly like my mother’s used to when joy caught her off guard. It’s…
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I Wonder
As the season changes from fall to winter, I’m sitting here thinking as usual and listening to music. As the song ‘That Girl’ by Stevie Wonder is playing, and I’m thinking about my Aunt Mary who died the same year when this song was released. And my other matriarchs. I wonder if they are proud…
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Grief, Energy, and Coping
Facebook memories can be a very painful experience. A picture of my brother Randy that I had posted two years ago popped up while I was sitting down thinking about how I have outlived my entire childhood family. Literally everyone with whom I had formed my earliest memories with has crossed over and it’s a…
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The Harvest Season
When the picture on the right was taken back in September of 2020, I was in the throes of grief. In the trenches. Wallowing in pain. My last remaining sibling had died in February and the country shut down a month later due to the pandemic. I was working from home, and stuck in the…
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The Day Before the Holiday
Tomorrow is the 4th of July and as a child, it would mean good times. My multigenerational family would gather together to celebrate and I would play with my cousins and friends until everyone went home. I can still remember the smell of the barbecue grill my Aunt Maggie would set up at 6am. I…
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PTSD, Black Youth, Drugs, & The Lack of Empathy
My daughter is 22 years old and she’s been through a lot mentally over the past eight years. She’s lost so many friends to murder on the streets of Chicago that it’s heartbreaking. Some of her classmates from grade and high school. Friends from the various neighborhoods we have lived in. So many lost children…
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2022
This year was filled with some highs but mostly lows. The highs were the birth of my second grandson and attending a Duran Duran concert. And getting one of those “good” government jobs that Black folks aspired to for decades. But it was a rough year for me again because I lost more people I…
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An Ode to Rosemary
Two weeks ago, a very special lady crossed over into eternity and her name was Rosemary. She was my first cousin and she was loved by many. As a child, she was the most glamorous woman in the world to me and she brought excitement with her presence whenever she showed up. She was this…
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Grief Once Again
It’s Sunday afternoon and I’m sitting here watching a marathon of the television show “Snapped” and crying. As usual because I’m thinking about my lost ones and is filled with sadness, anxiety, and anger. Earlier this year I read an article about Caroline Kennedy and it was written right after her brother John died in…
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The Potty Mouth Granny 