The Potty Mouth Granny

As previously mentioned, I had an epiphany that I would be 55 years old next year, and just a few minutes ago, I had another one. Neither one of my brothers made it to old age. They were ages 34 and 63 years old when they died, and that’s so sad. If I was to die today, that would mean none of us would have lived to see 70 years old. My mother’s own branch of the Allen family tree would be gone.

So I have decided that it’s my duty to break that curse. I’m going to make it to old bones. Yes I will. I’m going to be an old ass lady who sits in the window, looking down upon with haughty disdain at the peasants during the winter. When it’s warmer, I will be sitting on my porch with my inextricably carved wooden cane with a cat’s head at the top, screaming at miscreants to stay the fuck off my grass. I’m going to live y’all.