The Potty Mouth Granny

As a reporter, I receive a lot of weird messages from people but this shit here is the craziest. One morning I was minding my business, having coffee in my office when I heard a ping from my phone. I had received an email alert from a gentleman named Simon Tutweiler who claimed to be one of the oldest creatures on the planet. Mind you I said creature.

Now as a writer, my spidey senses were tingling but my common sense was like “what the fuck!!” Who refers to themselves as a creature? I should have ran for the hills but I couldn’t resist so I emailed him back and set up an appointment to meet this critter.

The Meeting

I was told to meet Simon in Miami, Florida on the beach at midnight. Now I was suspicious as hell because this could be some horny bastard looking for some pussy but I’m a reporter so what the fuck.

To be continued….