I learned about haints as a child from my grandmother. She was from Mississippi and she told me slave folklore about their evil asses. For those who don’t know, the term “haint” hails from Black Southerners and it’s a folklore term for a restless or angry spirit — essentially a ghost or supernatural entity.

Dem bitches are mean and they cause havoc wherever they reside at so you have to protect your home from those fuckers. But a lot of them walk amongst us in human form.

It’s a lot of haints in these streets. Hell the president of the America is a haint to the bone according to ChatGPT.

“A haint is a term from Southern U.S. folklore—especially among Gullah, African American, and Appalachian traditions—that refers to a restless spirit or ghost. Unlike a typical ghost, a haint is often thought to be malevolent or mischievous, and it lingers in the earthly realm to cause fear or harm.” Now if that ain’t Trump, I don’t know what is. So below is my first time using slave folklore to describe current events.

Trump as a Haint

By moonlight, he drifts through gilded halls and empty boardrooms, wrapped in the scent of fast food and scorched ego. His hair, now spectral and windswept, floats like an unnatural flame. His voice, once booming, echoes in strange bursts—half rant, half spell—chanting fragments of old slogans: “Build it…” “Make it great…” “Witch hunt…”

He doesn’t knock—he broadcasts, hijacking dreams and TV signals, promising deals that were never real and reviving grievances long buried.

Locals call him the “Orange Haint,” and swear he stirs trouble wherever belief festers. His eyes glow with grievance, and mirrors crack when he passes. Children dare each other to say “Fake news” three times in the dark, but few do it twice.

Some hang blue lights. Others keep copies of the Constitution by their doors like garlic. But the haint lingers—clinging to flags, rallies, and the internet ether—forever haunting the line between fame and infamy, legacy and loss. Destroying lives with malice in his heart and lies in his mouth. A fucking haint in human form.