I’m not going to lie—I’m tired of white people. I’m tired of the wealthy ones who are destroying the planet through greed, exploitation, and an insatiable hunger for more. And I’m tired of the everyday ones with their astonishing lack of curiosity and critical thinking. Many of them benefit from white privilege, yet they’re still treated as disposable by the very wealthy people whose interests they so often defend. It’s a strange thing to watch people protect a system that has so little regard for them.

But at the same time, I’m fascinated by them. Many of my favorite authors, musicians, and artists are white. I’m endlessly intrigued by European royal history and can lose hours wandering down that rabbit hole. Human beings are rarely one-dimensional. I can be deeply critical of the systems and behaviors I see while still appreciating the art, history, literature, and culture that have shaped the world. Those two things are not contradictory—they simply reflect the complexity of being human.

I’ve also had to acknowledge something else. The decline in literacy, critical thinking, and intellectual curiosity didn’t only happen in Black communities. A failing educational system has left plenty of Americans—white, Black, and otherwise—without the tools to question what they’re told or to think deeply about the world around them. White privilege doesn’t insulate people from educational neglect. Both realities can exist at the same time.

The real question is: How can someone be exhausted by a people while remaining endlessly fascinated by them? Maybe the answer is that criticism and curiosity can exist side by side. One doesn’t cancel out the other.