The Potty Mouth Granny

  • TMVII: The Rise of the Motherfucking Mange

    It’s a new STI out here y’all and it’s called TMVII. Or as I lovingly call it, the motherfucking mange. Now I know actual mange is something dogs get, but listen… I’m a writer with a vivid imagination and this new shit got “quarantine the blankets and boil the draws” energy. It causes painful lesions,…

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  • Femininity, Performance, and Patriarchy

    A question I’ve often pondered is: why is femininity so often centered around men? Below are my thoughts on this question. For centuries, femininity was socially engineered around male desire, male comfort, and male approval. That’s the blunt truth sitting underneath all the lace and perfume. Women were not originally encouraged to “be feminine” for…

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  • Whole, With or Without Him

    I’ve always joked that I’m the youngest only child—caught in that strange little space where the age and gender gap between me and my siblings made me feel like I was raised solo. But that strange little space turned out to be a gift. It taught me how to enjoy my own company. I had…

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  • The Man Who Can Walk With Me

    He is not loud with wanting. He does not rush the door of my life like conquest is love. He knocks— and waits. He has made peace with his shadows. They follow him quietly now, well-fed, well-named, no longer biting at the heels of women. He listens the way elders listen— with his whole body.…

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  • Respectability Politics and the Policing of Black Male Love

    It’s more acceptable for a Black man to have ten children with ten different women than for him to be gay—and that fact should stop us in our tracks. We live in a world where irresponsibility gets a pass if it performs masculinity the “right” way. A man can leave a trail of single mothers,…

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  • Not All Men—Just These Ones

    I really try my best not to man-bash, but mercy has its limits. Harder than a pimp’s heart, yes—and just as guarded. I don’t carry this irritation into my real life. The men I know in flesh and breath can look you in the eye, hold a thought, and say something with weight. They exist…

    thepottymouthgranny

  • The Magic Remote

    The dating scene sucks. Like, majorly. If you scroll through social media, you’ll see a lot of women just tapping out—done with the games, done with the nonsense, chilling like a pack of villains, secretly plotting to take over the damn world. But let’s not lie to ourselves: every woman gets horny. At least I…

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  • Hatred of the Feminine and Black folks

    Black folks (including Black women) don’t like women and girls. They really don’t. And for those who think this is a figment of my imagination and I’m lying, shut the fuck up. And listen to what I’m about to say. When a Black woman or girl is murdered, she is blamed for being murdered and…

    thepottymouthgranny

  • The Reasons Why I’m Single

    This month two exes who are currently married called me and asked me why I am still single. One was even bold enough to say that I’m not getting any younger so I need to be concentrating on finding a fella. If men don’t have anything else, they have more balls than a brass ass…

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  • The Real Reason Why Men Hate & Fear Perfectly Content Single Women

    Men lose their minds at thought of a woman perfectly content with her own company. Because that means that they can’t hold a relationship and a possible marriage over her head along with a passel of brats. They can’t constantly chant “that’s why you’re single!” to a woman who truly doesn’t give a fuck. Those…

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